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Girls on the Edge: The Four Factors Driving the New Crisis for Girls--Sexual Identity, the Cyberbubble, Obsessions, Environmental Toxins Review

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I can't remember the last time I stayed up this late to read a work of non-fiction. I picked up this book with a hefty dose of skepticism, and found myself entranced. Sax's insights seem spot-on and realistic, even though some of them are gender based. I'm female and work in technology at a Fortune 5 company, so things that blithely apply gender stereotypes make me seethe, but all of his observations seem realistic, insightful, research based, AND ultimately promote more choice, health, and support for girls. Who knew that cheerleading coaches don't have to be trained in how to recognize concussions, even though football coaches do? And that girls are 40 to 300 percent more likely to get concussions than boys (depending on the sport)? Ultimately this book is packed with information about girls in such a way that you can use it to empower your own children, rather than simply excusing bad behaviors with a "well, she's a girl!" label. My daughter is 5, and he directly addresses many of the issues I'm starting to wonder about, and trying to prepare to handle in the all-too-near future.
I found his discussion of sexuality to be enlightened rather than repressive, even as it supports some traditional values: "As parents, we must reject the notion that girls have to take off their clothes to empower themselves. Boys don't have to take off their clothes to empower themselves. Girls shouldn't either. / Sexuality is good, but _sexualization_ is bad. Sexuality is about your identity as a woman or a man, about feeling sexual. That's a healthy part of becoming an adult. But sexualization is about being an object for the pleasure of others, about being on display for others." He talks about the "cyberbubble" and how being constantly in touch via social network sites and IM and phones has created a different world than the one I lived in just 20 years ago, including cyberbullying. Best of all (for a mom who'll have a tween in just a few short years), he gives concrete, logical suggestions for some of the situations your child will find herself in. He talks about obsessions (weight, sports, smarts, etc.) and how vulnerable they leave your child if something happens to disrupt them (gaining/losing weight, getting a stress fracture, scoring poorly on the SAT), unless your child has a more-developed sense of identity. He also talks about environmental toxins, which surprised me somewhat--but again, he made a compelling case for it. Then he finishes with one chapter each on mind / body / spirit, giving examples on how to support your child in each area. "Mind" is about education and learning (including a need for play), "body" is about health and physical fitness, and "spirit" is about community and church (without promoting any particular religion).
Sax also did a commendable job of synthesizing and accurately depicting research. I generally find myself suspicious of authors who claim to have all the answers, or who have very-fuzzy footnotes to support key points, but Sax backs up his points with solid research (roughly 30 pages of endnotes, relegated to small type at the end of the book so they don't interfere). He also states clearly where there are cases the research is inconclusive, and when he speculates on a possible explanation, he finishes with "but we simply don't know," so the line between research and speculation is clear. I have a master's degree and enjoy reading a lot (including non-fiction and textbooks), and found his referencing solid, unlike many popular parenting books. I also read a number of points to my husband (who has a PhD in psychology and is faculty at an Ivy-league school), and he also found the points and the presentation compelling. But honestly, our best qualification is that we have a 5-year-old daughter... and this book directly addressed a number of real concerns we have as we're both trying to provide her with the best opportunities in life, and trying to prepare for the things we watch her older friends and cousins grappling with. Thank you, Sax! This book will have a very real impact on some of the decisions we're making regarding both her present and her future, some as soon as tomorrow, and several as soon as this upcoming summer as her extracurricular activities shift.

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