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Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach Review
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outcast of some other sort for the person in question. That's incredibly frightening for a parent to learn. Not only was my son diagnosed with something that was not very treatable, but if it didn't respond to treatment he was in for a lifetime of hell. I also read that the only thing PROVEN to be effective against persistent ODD is in-home intensive therapy. Well, we did in-home counseling and it didn't do much (more or less parent training, and it wasn't new information at all). I did get wrap-around services for my son, which includes an in-home mental health aid 4 days a week (now it's three, soon to be two). THIS is what worked:
The groundwork I lay as far as behavior management and a positive discipline plan is contained wholly in this book. "The Nurtured Heart Approach" is the *only* approach that I felt good about, was easy to apply, was easy to stick with, and - most importantly - *WORKED*. This behavior plan, which includes a great point system at the end of the book-- was applied religiously and with total disregard for any protestations from my son (and daughter -- she's not got all his diagnoses, but it's a darned good plan and applies to an easy kid, too). Anyway, this plan was applied by *everyone* who worked with him -- at school (it's part of his IEP), at home, when visiting relatives, etc. Let me tell ya -- you *do* notice a difference
right away. It might be subtle at first, but today is one year since I started the nurtured heart approach with my son and he's a different kid. Honestly. His behaviors have been stable for 6 months now. We haven't had an outburst (fit of any kind) in two months. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone with a kid who has an ODD, ADHD, or bipolar diagnosis -- or is just plain difficult. My son's oppositional and defiant behaviors are no longer a huge issue. He's as oppositional and defiant as any other kid -- within the "normal" range and THIS is do-able. I can handle everyday, typical defiance -- ODD defiance/noncompliance is a BEAR.
This book and its plan will get you going. I created a short form for the point system that I printed out and used daily to mark off the points earned (bonus points, points for not breaking the rules). At first we used a dry-erase board, but sometimes the rules/bonus items got smudged or wiped off and it became apparent that something easily reproduced was better. I
did point cards on business cards -- printing up a ton of 5 point, 25 point, 50 point, 100 point, 500 point cards. Several months ago we found it necessary to print 1000 and 2500 point cards -- THAT's how well my son is doing.
This plan is the one that worked. We've done 1-2-3 Magic! and several other plans that not only didn't quite cover everything or did not leave a child's self-esteem intact and this is the only plan that I felt 100% good about - in my heart and in my head. AND, this plan covers EVERYTHING. It will work if you follow it and stick with it. And believe me, positive discipline plans are NOT like diets -- not all of them work if you just stick to and with them. Not every positive discipline plan out there works. THIS ONE DOES.
Thank you Howard Glasser!
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Posted in: add, adhd, behavior, book, child discipline, discipline, howard glasser, kids, parenting, self-help
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